Football is bad for your health. I'm not talking about those of us who will watch the Superbowl with one hand in a bag of chips and the other clutching a beer. I mean the people we'll be watching, many of whose bodies will sustain the equivalent of a car wreck this coming Sunday -- on top of the many concussions and breaks they've already experienced this season.
This is nothing new, of course, but results from a recently released (and not coincidentally timed) study from the Boston University School of Medicine indicate that the damage may be worse than previously thought. Examining the brains of dead, relatively young former NFL players, scientists discovered damage similar to "what might be found in the brain of an 80-year-old with dementia."
Football is bad for your health, but it is good for the bottom line, which might explain why the National Football League's response to this latest study is reminiscent of the best work from tobacco company flaks in their heyday:
"Hundreds of thousands of people have played football and other sports without experiencing any problem of this type and there continues to be considerable debate within the medical community on the precise long-term effects of concussions and how they relate to other risk factors."
True to tobacco company form, the NFL even has its own internally conducted "studies," completed by real live bought-and-paid-for doctors, to indicate that multiple concussions really aren't that harmful.
Why the stonewalling? "The league is well-known in legal circles for tenaciously fighting even minor disability claims," wrote ESPN's Peter Keating about similar obfuscation after an autopsy of former player Andre Waters, who killed himself in 2007, showed he had the brain of an 85-year-old, "and the last thing it wants to face is a flood of lawsuits by athletes who suffered head injuries and kept playing."
A New York Times article weeks after Waters' suicide suggested that the NFL not only keeps tight lips about injuries, it expects players to do the same. I suppose that's to be understood, given the legal risk. Never mind that refusing to acknowledge the problem is only likely to contribute to future injuries and death. Look, kid, do ya wanna play in the big leagues or don't ya?
Is there a solution? How about ginormous padding and helmets, akin to those faux Sumo wrestler outfits? Perhaps making players wear weights in their shoes so they don't have as much velocity when they tackle one another? Ironically, maybe the best solution is to eliminate helmets and pads altogether. As Edward Tenner noted in Why Things Bite Back, helmets have had the unintended consequence of producing more serious injuries on the field, because when players know they are protected, they can brutalize one another with abandon.
Which is why, let's be honest, a good many of us like to watch. But perhaps as the physical consequences of on-field brutality become more apparent, the NFL will begin to hear a voice it's actually willing to listen to -- that of the fans.
Here's my favorite proposal to improve the situation: eliminate free substitution and go back to having the players play both ways. If they had to play both ways, there would not be so many of the freakishly large players on the field who create the lethal forces that endanger others' lives. An added benefit is that it would tilt the game more in favor of the best, most versatile athletes.
Besides, super-specialization is a hallmark of the modern industrial society, along with super-commoditization and super-organization. Sports are supposed to be a way to bring back a taste of the more primitive life we left behind when we all became cogs in the giant industrial machine.
Helmets contribute to injuries in another way: Players use them as weapons and are coached to do so. Watch the slow-motion replays of tacklers at work and you'll see them leading with the head, sometimes with arms at the sides.
Years ago, Ohio State used helmets that were padded on the outside. In a story written at the time, an opponent said his team loved to play the Buckeyes because the players knew they wouldn't be subjected to a pounding with a rock-hard object.
Athletic conferences, schools and youth organizations are reluctant to do away with helmets because of potential liability issues. But they could make the helmets soft like a boxing glove.
Football players are like professional wrestlers. They know they are likely to suffer injuries and pain which will shorten and affect the quality of their lives. However, they're doing something that they dearly love and if it shortens their existence so be it. For most athletes life will never be better than this.
Get rid of pads. Make play continuous, no clock stoppages. Get rid of downs. Possession is everything. Who cares if the player got tackled, keep at it! Institute an "advantage" law and quit with the silly never ending penalties. No quarters, go with halves only. Widen the field, make it a tad bit longer. Make a touchdown mean that you really have to touch the darn ball down. Save money by going with one ref and a couple of sideline judges. Limit substitutions to about seven (both tactical and injury). You are on the field both when you have the ball and when the opposition has the ball. Get rid of the expensive specialty players (kickers, quarterbacks, punters by developing players that can ALL run, pass and kick the ball.
A sport with those kind of attributes would be fun to watch. Maybe someone can invent it....