Once upon a time, when you thought Australia, you thought
beer. Certainly Marge Simpson had trouble ordering something in Australia that didn't begin with B-E
in this classic Simpsons clip. But today Australia is drowning under the surplus of a fruitier fermentation. Yes, Aussies are actually having a "
wine crisis."
Australia has an accumulated surplus of 100 million
cases of wine that will double in the next two years if current trends
continue, according to the report. The annual surplus is huge - equal
to all UK export sales and there is no clear prospect of finding
additional demand, either domestic or foreign, to fill this gap. ...
In fact, wine exports have fallen by 8 million cases or more than 20
percent in the last two years, according to the statement, with the
largest declines in the high value wines that Aussie winemakers hoped
would be their future.
Inexpensive and bulk wine sales have grown, but at prices that are unsustainably low.
A part of my mind is cheekily thinking of better ledes -- "Sure brings a whole new meaning to drowning in the red" (Surplus, not deficit, but you know...); "Leave it to Australia to have an alcohol bubble"; "Something-something
financial hangover something-something" -- but Australia's wine glut is a serious mess.
Wine Economist says this isn't a cyclical surplus that will pass with rising global demand or a cold season. It's a deeply structural over-investment in vines that will require painful scaling back. Seventeen percent of vineyard capacity has been deemed uneconomic.
When France and Spain faced a similar crisis three years ago, they turned nearly a billion bottles into disinfectant and fuel. It is a sad today for the world when Shiraz grapevines are Australian for "oil well."
A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palate but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.
Black Stump Bordeaux is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good Sydney Syrup can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.
Château Blue, too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.
Old Smokey 1968 has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian Wino Society thoroughly recommends a 1970 Coq du Rod Laver, which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: eight bottles of this and you're really finished. At the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.
Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is Perth Pink. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is beware. This is not a wine for drinking, this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.
Another good fighting wine is Melbourne Old-and-Yellow, which is particularly heavy and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.
Quite the reverse is true of Château Chunder, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
Real emetic fans will also go for a Hobart Muddy, and a prize winning Cuivre Reserve Château Bottled Nuit San Wogga Wogga, which has a bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
Aussie management of the financial crisis has been seriously good.
I decline to say that about the management of their wine crisis until they come clean about where I can buy some of the better stuff at distress prices.